Private 1894 Monday / how many times have I read your / letter? when it came / I devoured it - & then / answered it & then Lord Hickfort / & read it again - then whenever / I paused in work - again - oh / that work that gets me so badly. / I started unluckily on a big / space, & there came a darkness / & a thunderstorm, & now / I must wait a week. for what / I have done to day - isnt it / tiresome. but the hope is / in me that you are beginning / now to mend - for Saturday / I know you were prostrate - & / yesterday the fatigue of the / journey / was heavy on you - & to-day / perhaps a little little mending / & by to-day week much mending / and if you are good & careful / I shall get ? happy days. - / & have courage to take out / my souvenirs - long put away / for they have such a mockery of / happiness. Yes - it is in your / power to give me a fine life / or to destroy it - & I wonder / which you will choose - the / first will be such trouble / to you - & the last so easy. / I ought to want you to do / what is easiest - but somehow / I'm not good enough for that, / and the thirsty earth / has had a good drink now - / down came the rain - and / mended the earth & spoilt / my work for a time. / The San Graal picture / look bonny I think - looking / mature & stange in light / & I am half content with / it - but now I have taken / up Love in Ruins after / a fortnights rest from it. / Yesterday I never stirred out / feel of me so tender with never / walking that I dont know what to / do. I havent seen Violet / yet - tomorrow to tea comes / Mrs. Earle & Olive - / Oh I sc? want to see you - / I want one they only - for you to be / there getting strong - it kills / me to see you ill - it destroys my / life, breaks my heart - masks asking / of the world - you must live more / carefully if you want to keep me / alive, to play with - ? upon / ? you find another, nicer friend, but never one to care more- never - / tell me there isnt another anywhere / who would care more - does the / evening post reach you - I am writing / to you twice a day - its no fun to / have them both together in the morning / is it? oh you. you. you.