1 Thursday / Yes all that is true about / Blumenthal - so good / & kind really that all / must be ? - but as for taking / any precautions for the future that is / not in the realms of possibility - he / must act according to his nature, & his / friends must bear up - I was mistaken / about the letter. having hurt Ranes, she / never mentioned it again - but I think / she guesses the truth. Which is after / all no wonder. and beautifully she / behaves. I am bound to say. Still furious in my heart about that / beast of a woman who was your / fellow guest. I should like to do / her some injury, I should. / No, they wont ask at dinner much / nor does it much matter - it could / be nice though - I should like every / chance in this fast going life - and / it vexes & teases me more than a / little that they all think they are / doing me a kindness in arranging / life for me. never mind - we know. / and I am so glad you are having this / time of peace & petting - it will be / lovely to look back upon & remember / all your sweet days - and paddies are / nice aren't they? I have the same / instinct of love for them that I have of / real dislike to the Scotch - though mighty / exception, I have to make - for Djacy / the beloved is Scotch & Graham was. / but they are the exception - as a rule I begin / with being friends in a moment with / a Paddy, & repent afterwards sometimes - / & of disliking a Scotchman, & repenting / & making reparation afterwards sometimes. / I love the ill success of the Irish, that / comes of their virtues so God seems to / will it - & hate the success of the Scotch / that comes always of their nastiness - / and it is beyond reason in me - beyond / argument - it begins and ? them theirs, this / I readily like the one and readily / dislike the others - & always have & / always shall, & mean to, up to the end / only for a few days sets me beating & / thumping - & not with fists - I am / growing so shy of you - I look back & wonder / how ever I dared go to see you so often - if / it will still be possible - how dared I? / this then is one of the results of knowing you / so nearly, that I feel little & humble and / not good enough marvel at your mercy to / me and your kindness - & wonder if it will / always be - at any rate the thought of the / day when you are back here has set me / a good deal trembling all morning - / it isn't fear but what is it? is it dread / that when you first see me after all this / long whence you will find it hard to take / me up where you left me. - & this is / me, the proud one - verily I dont know / myself - but as I think of you & your life / there comes upon me a light of such / reverence and worship & self annihilation / that myself disappears wholly - why is it / - I am strong enough to live ?tively by myself. / I need nothing but my hands & my brain / to fashion myself a world to live in, that / nothing can disturb - in my own land I / am king of it - what ? me to leave / it and go kneeling to you - well I shall / never get up from my kneeling now. / going to town to-day, at the day's end, / to order a topcoat - so as to walk / out with you & not bring ridicule or disgrace / upon you - for you once upbraided me a / little for not dressing like other people & / I have never forgotten it - but I cant - if / my hat is right, my coat is amiss, or / otherwise I am not as it should be - / I should look right if I were dressed / like Giotes - or like a crusader - or / like Buffalo Bill - pyjamas look / all right - if I might be permitted to / say anything so intimate. but I / cant look right somehow in London - / & so I am going to day to tell the tailor / he must make me look ordinary & / unnoticeable - he must. / [drawing of a complying hound]