Sept 1894 Monday morning - very early / Such a tempest of rain all night / though that sleep was / washed away with it / and a lazy thing this morning / dreamed of ancient days I did - of / Ruskin, & we quarrelled as we used to do / - but to see him again even in a dream / as he used to be hath moved & touched / me exceedingly - so that I have woke / up soft hearted & resolved to write to / him - and am beginning as you see to / carry ou my resolution by writing to / you - do you know I haven't answered / Mrs. Wyndham yet - but indeed I am / no good to anyone - am I any good / to you? I do love it when you say I / am & that is why I ask so often - only / the days are just as full as ever days can / be - at seven I get up, by eight I / have written to you - my chief duty / then I breakfast lightly, & then comes in / the post / I never look forward to it now, because it / never brings me a letter from you - that comes / by the last post at night - & after that I / answered a letter or two & see people / till 9 - & then begins true work till the / dark comes - whenever I rest I turn to write / a little word to you, or make a silly drawing / for you. and at one, is lunch & I see / people if they come for a few minutes - / and I walk out a little way when dark / comes for exercise - & that is never a nice / part of the day, for there are neither lanes / to walk in, nor streets of shops - / only London suburb at is dismallist. / & then bed is at ten - and so goes / on the time - days are monstrously / alike, but they are governed by work / entirely as is fit - / & / I am happy - and when I ask myself / why I feel happy - which is a / dangerous thing to do, for all emotion / & divine sensations do most of all things / hate to be analysed, & after betake themselves / to the skies again at such intrusion / - but if I think why I feel happy it has / but one answer, that the hours are speeding / and one day you will be back - here - / within reach - & my hurrying feet will / carry me to you - & my heart beat against / my ribs as the knocker beats against the / door - & then Ralph will welcome me / for he always does, and I shall enter the / Presence - & then of all strange things will / come a half bewildered time with me / when I am stupid & speechless, & shy / & half frightened - & that booby / mood disappears at the first laugh / for laughing begins quite early, owing / to your extreme dislike to sentiment / & this often is the curse of my happiness / which is great these days - though the / house is often very very dull - & labour / seems not & the body is often sore tired / & that is why - & that my dear is why / [pen and ink drawing of a cat on a wine jar] / wine jar - from Gnossos. date probably / at the Zenith of Hellenic design.