Sunday / I an afraid it was a most / uncomfortable time for you / here Saturday - sometimes the / house as still as the dead, & sometimes / its like the middle of Piccadilly - and / I wanted to see you safely back & wouldnt / have let anyone come if I had known / earlier, but it was too late to change / plans. - there was no drain on / sympathy in the case of the lady who / came when you went. Who talked only / about some business and never once / mentioned any past doleful matters - / about which I think I am supposed to / know nothing - nor do I - but I wanted / to know how safely you got back & if / you found a cab - I hated letting / you go like that, but there was no / help. Wonder if you reached home / in time to preside decorously. / All to-day is given up to / nursing and such matters - but / Phil is better & would go out - / that was so tiresome of him - / It is so nice to be old - / no more agitations, nor flutterings / nor restless goings to & fro - nor / watchings at doors & windows. / a little dull now & then of / course - cant have everything - / but peace. dont you believe / me? then why are you laughing? / its quite true. / Can't bear you to have to go through / scenes, & up mind, or have / a heavy weight like that. & if / one difficulty, this one, were over, are / you sure another should never be? / should you be strong against fate / and the arrows of it ever after then it mighty be worthwhile to / make a huge effort - but if one / day afterwards suddenly you / were in the coils of a fresh trouble / it wouldn't be worth having had this fight / would it? / Whatever befalls you are not to give in, nor / be made ill - you look as if a little / more would just kill you straightway - / snatch at anything that brings reprieve, / that lightens the ?, and beguiles / with some change, however trifling. / and ? think too long together, or / take solitary half mad walks - when / thought goes faster than your feet / can. shall I take you shopping / - it isnt much in my way but I / would - and presently you shall be / so revived & well and ready for / the summer, and peaceful all through / it - one can bear a heavy / strain of life, the thing that is / unbearable is the sight of some / happiness dangled in front of / ones eyes to lure and Torment. / then sleep goes. misery doesnt / keep one awake. its doubtful / troubled / happiness that keeps one's tired eyes / open half the night.- / anyhow God bless you. / Isn't it a pity I wasn't a parson? / and a Tuesday afternoon I will knock / at your door - about 4 1/2 or 5 - & / find something for me to do for you. / by then will you? also stuff / all this nonsense into the fire this / very minute. Yours aff EB-J.