Oc: 10: '93 Mary darling, / Your letter/ reveals much more serious / trouble than I had any idea / of or have any clue to - / it is so very sad to think / of your sweet mother having / been grieved or worried / about anything as well as / being so ill - or still worse, / that grief & worry should / have caused the illness. / I had a dear, bright letter / from Pamela, sending me / a "? bottle", / just after Marga- / ret had been at Clouds, & / I had no idea that she (Pam- / ela) had any sorrow. O, in / what bricked up cello do we / live - not knowing how it is / with those outside, even our / best beloved. I cannot bear / you all to have such / months of trouble of / one kind and another - / your dear mother sent me / a long letter to R'dean, / telling me she was better, / and I foolishly rested in / that belief - as one does / because it is easiest to oneself / - at least I wish I had been / aware that my friends were / in difficulty. And yet, I could / not have helped them. - What / a meeting for you, my child, / to find her ill and changed / when you did not know how / bad she had been. But you / are with her now, and / that will be the best thing / in the world for her. / My little Pamela thought / what is the matter? I feel / as if I had been having a / Rip van Winkle sleep at / Rottingdean, and losing all / hold of her. Margaret / only spoke of its being so / delightful to have a long / long talk with Madeline / & Pamela - and Pamela / wrote so brightly! But don't / answer anything I say now - / I can wait, and will only / mass up some more love upon / your heads. Yet I will / beg you to send me a card, as / you offered, for I feel very / anxious suddenly after my / blind confidence. She, who is / always the source of strength / & happiness for others, seemed / certain to soon be her self / again I thought. My Mary, / I do feel for you. And you / will take care of yourself. / please, not wearing out your / own small stock of boding ? / but missing it that your soul. / ... may be clear & strong to / help your mother. It is good / news that your / children are well / & with Fräulein, because if / they were with you they would / be pulling at your heart all / the time you wanted to be / clear & ready for the others, / and you would be worn out. I have just had Mar- / garet's babies for a fort- / night (they leave tomorrow) / and have refreshed / my knowledge of the way in / which they engross one. / Where is Pamela? Will she come and spend a few / days with us before she goes? / You see I write in ignorance / of all things except that I / love her. / So, my sweet, for- / give a very blind and stumb- / ling letter - but you will / feel its meaning, which is / simply - I love you - let / me help you if I can in / any way. God bless you / my darling. / Your most loving / Georgie