Jan : 9 : 1890 My darling, / what a breath / of old days came with your / letter of yesterday! I am sorry / not to see you, but your / words were better than most / meetings prove - with all / their drawbacks. Indeed / the love I took for you as / a child will never fade / so long as you care for it, / and you have been so un- / failing in your sweetness to / me that I cannot help be- / lieving it is always / something to you. And / your affection for me I val- / ue deeply - so that there / we are, aren't we! / But things, & times, and / people, must change, as long / as there is life in them - and / I can entirely understand why / our lives drift apart - it / was inevitable. You no longer / need me - as in a way you did / I suppose, or else you would / not have turned so kindly to me - / but we can never be unmoved / by anything that happens to / the other, and I am thank- / ful for all that has been & / for all that remains. You are / in the full glare of life, while / I feel sometimes almost in / the dusk of it - and often I / think of you as I sit quiet / & long to tell you of things / that helped me or hindered / me when I was younger. / Only the right time to speak / never comes. Broadly I / would say, that every day / of my life I am learning / the lesson of "this comes of / that", and consequences are / grievous or blessed to me ac- / cording as I did wrong or / right in the moment of trial. / I think also I an finding that / whenever I snatched a thing / which did not rightly belong / to me I have done harm to my- / self & to others - certainly whenever / I have neglected a duty I have / found harm come of it. I would be / a better mother if I had to go / over my time, and many things I / would do that I have left undone / or would undo what I have done. / In our lives one must grow / clear sighted - at all ? for / oneself. One thing I do not / rep? - that I have kept my- / self, poor as that is, for the chief / confidante of my joys & sorrows. / You cannot hope to pass through / life without sharp trials - you / lovely creature upon whom so / many eyes are fixed - but you / have a strong will and the pow- / er to make your own way clear, / and the souls of your children / hang upon you. Fall back upon / the consciousness of the helpful / spirit of God within your own / soul, and you will find sereni- / ty that nothing can / disturb, Life is such an Art / - study it as that - bend it into / shape when it seems shapeless / and have one settled aim for / yourself and all will give / way before you. / Listen to me - going on / like Sibyl! But you are / so dear to me, and I do long / so to shield you from sorrow, / though no one can do that for / another. At all events you / will not resent my thinking / aloud to you for a minute or two, for you know I / am your devotedly loving / Georgie